Is your mind a prison?

The bad news - you built it.

Stop blaming your parents, where you grew up, the kids who picked on you in high school... let me play you a tiny violin.

Relax, you know there's good news coming. Because you're the engineer behind this jail cell, you're also the exact person who can break free.

How do I know this? I'm living proof.

I used to lie in bed thinking about email typos. My mind would create the world's worst fantasy about how I'd get fired from my job and end up homeless on the street screaming into the void. By the way, this is called Catastrophizing - we'll get into it later.

These days the space between my ears is a lot more fun, friendly, and gentle. Rather than a raging hurricane, my mind feels like a gentle beach with waves crashing while "Is This Love" by Bob Marley plays. Once in a while the water levels rise, the clouds darken, and the undertow kicks in. But I have a deep knowing that the storm will pass, and I can get back to singing that Bob Marley tune (I wanna love ya and treat ya right).

The coolest part? I realized all that energy I spent worrying about nonesense can be channelled and used as a force for good. Like me writing this letter, sharing my story, and helping others with this transformation.

From overwhelm to peace.

From chaos to balance

From a mind that works against you to one that works with you.

Rock Bottom

Let me quickly paint a picture of 2018-2019 Darren:

• newly minted MBA degree

• recently married

• travelling around the country as a corporate consultant

• on track to make the glorious 6-figure salary

• smiling and being friendly with coworkers, friends and family

On the outside, it looked like I was crushing it. But in reality, I was:

• 20 lbs overweight

• intensely clenching my jaw during sleep

• using video games and fast food to cope

• avoiding any moment alone with my thoughts

• silently hating what my life had turned into

And the cherry on top of this shit cake? I discovered my wife was being unfaithful. As if that's what I needed.

But it turns out it was exactly what I needed. It was my breaking point - enough was enough.

I was done with the pain.

I was done with the quiet suffering.

I was done living a life that I absolutely hated.

Time For Transformation

Before we get into this, I want you to know that this story has a happy ending, as all good stories do. Since this fateful dark night of the soul back in 2019, I've completely rebuilt my life into something I'm very proud of:

• remarried to an incredible woman

• have a beautiful baby girl

• we just bought a home

• making 6-figures in a job I don't hate

• the best physical shape of my life

I don't list these things to brag (I mean they are pretty sweet). But I share them as evidence that you can lift your life out of the depths of hell.

And here comes the Jung Quote:

One thing I cannot stress enough is that none of this would have been possible if I didn't have control over my wild anxious mind. Even if I did hit these milestones, I'd be thinking about becoming homeless so much that I wouldn't even enjoy it.

Alright - enough quotes and sweet graphics I made in Canva. Let's get into it, shall we?

Step 1: Accepting My Anxiety

Identifying and accepting you're an overthinker is half the battle.

Before I hit my breaking point, I was in denial of how bad my mental space was. I knew what anxiety was and understood the fundamentals - but me? Anxiety? No way, everything is good over here!

Here are some signs that the sound of your own wheels may be driving you crazy:

• your mind runs wild with catastrophic thoughts

• your body feels like it's constantly in fight-or-flight mode

• you can't power down your mind at night to sleep

• basic decisions leave you completely frozen

• you feel disconnected from yourself and others

In summary, living with anxiety feels like your mind and body are perpetually braced for a disaster that never quite arrives.

Is any of this hitting home with you? Sorry bud - you may have anxiety.

Now you know. Now you can do something about it.

And remember, you are never alone:

• Anxiety disorders typically start showing up in your teens and

• 1 in 4 humans on Earth will battle anxiety during their lifetime

• only 37% of people with anxiety do something about it

Let’s get that 37% statistic up a bit closer to 100.

Step 2: Talking to a Pro

When dealing with anything related to mental health, it's always good to talk to a professional. Whether it's a doctor, therapist - or your barber - getting an outside perspective never hurts.

For me, I knew I didn't want to go down the route of prescription medication. These can be helpful for some, but the idea of taking a pill for possibly the rest of my life absolutely freaked me out.

Recent research has challenged the serotonin theory of depression and anxiety. Those chemical imbalances in the brain we've been told about? The new science doesn't exactly support it. Studies show that SSRIs are far less effective than once thought.

But during my therapy sessions, I took away two key learnings that still live in my mind.

First, anxiety is built on the emotions of guilt and shame. These emotions aren't random. They're foundations laid in childhood, reinforced by experience, and cemented by repetition. Perfectionism? The compulsion to always be on time? My freaking out over a typo? Yup - we can tie them all back to our two best buddies guilt and shame.

Second, there are 'Anxiety Thinking Traps' that keep us stuck.

My trap of choice was Magnification (Catastrophizing). Work performance was - and sometimes still is - a trigger of mine. One missed deadline would spiral into visions of getting fired and career collapse. One awkward interaction became a social exile.

But if you name it, you can tame it.

When my mind started running off the rails, I began to think to myself "oh, that's that pesky catastrophic thinking my therapist told me about."

The key insight was that we humans have this unique ability to think about our thoughts. I could have a thought, pause, and ask myself if it was healthy or harmful.

Step 3: Getting Experimental

I did therapy for about 2-months and got frustrated with the progress. I had a better understanding of my anxiety, but I was still thinking myself into knots and spirals. Yes, I know good things take time. But I seriously couldn’t keep waiting.

I decided to open my mind and see what other alternatives were out there.

I discovered an article that spoke about the use of psychedelics, and how they had the potential to greatly reduce depression and anxiety.

Here are a few mind-blowing stats from recent psychedelic therapy studies:

• 71% of patients with major depression had significant improvement at 4 weeks post-treatment

• 54% of patients with treatment-resistant depression were in remission 4 weeks after two sessions

• in terminal patients facing end of life, 80% showed significant reductions in anxiety with effects lasting 6 months

The real study - or should I say image - that had me convinced to take the cosmic plunge was this one:

Seeing this helped me realize that with the help of psychedelics, I could literally rewire my brain into something that served me better. And I also wondered - what in the heck does it feel like when your brain lights up like a Christmas tree like that?

Remember, although there's tons of research emerging in the field of psychedelics - it's still illegal in most places. However, just because something is legal / illegal doesn't necessarily make it good or bad. Slavery used to be legal here in North America for goodness sake.

That said, we're all adults here. Do your research, be smart, be safe, be discreet. Pause and decide for yourself if this path is worth exploring. For me, it 1000% absolutely was.

As I waited for my medicine to arrive, I began preparations:

• learning about set and setting

• binging Terrence McKenna

• thinking of my perfect music playlist

• determining my dose

• setting my intention

Finally, the package arrived. It was May 2019 - the day of my 29th birthday. Five grams of psilocybin mushrooms. Complete darkness. Explosions in the Sky playing softly in my headphones (a premonition of the explosions in my mind I’d be experiencing shortly).

I remember staring at those mushrooms as I weighed them on my coffee scale, sending up a silent prayer: "Please be gentle with me."

What happened next changed everything.

For 4-6 hours, I experienced a complete reset. The endless chatter in my mind finally went quiet. For the first time since childhood, I could see the world with absolute clarity.

The next day, I walked through the city with new eyes. Street art popped with vibrant life. Food exploded with flavour. Trees became magnificent monuments to life itself.

This wasn't about about getting high. This was a rebirth.

Not a bad birthday gift if I do say so myself.

The psychedelic experience is hard to put into words - ineffable as some like to say. It's beautiful, terrifying, impossible, pure, and mystical.

But one thing is certain: the experience is just that - only an experience. The learnings, lessons, and insights don't mean anything unless you take real action and make meaningful changes in your life.

It was time to get to work.

Step 4: Revamping My Inner Circle

This step is the toughest. It's uncomfortable, it hurts, and you need to be ruthless. But we're in the business of changing our life here - did you think it would be easy?

It was time to cut out those pesky toxic relationships I'd been holding onto. This included ending my marriage to my then-wife. As I mentioned, I had discovered she was being unfaithful. I wrestled with what to do with this for 2-3 months. Thoughts running through my mind like:

• we just got married, this is so embarrassing

• what will my family think? friends? co-workers

• I'm such a loser for being cheated on

• will anyone ever want to date me again?

• hmm maybe this relationship is worth salvaging

I ended up telling my parents what had happened. During a quick visit home, I could feel their pain watching me struggle. That's when I realized the impact my situation was having not just on me, but on them too.

I realized I could no longer do this to them. I realized I could no longer do this to myself.

With my parents' full support, I told my then-wife I wanted a divorce. The immediate sense of relief was overwhelming - like finally letting go of a thousand-pound weight I'd been carrying in my chest.

This is what positive change feels like.

You will feel it in your mind. You will feel it in your body. You will feel it in your soul.

From this point on, I started to be very picky about who I let into my life.

• those 'friends' from university that made fun of me? See ya

• that old buddy of mine who can't wait to grab coffee with me? You're in

• that grandma who for some reason always makes me feel guilty? Here's a nice fat boundary

• that other grandma who tells me how handsome and proud she is of me every time I see her? Please come over for dinner

Friends, family, or co-workers - you don't owe anyone anything. If they treat you negatively and aren't rooting for you in life, get them out of your inner circle. Unless I seriously care about the person, I don't even waste energy on a discussion. It's a silent exile.

These days I keep it simple. If you care about my life and well-being, I care about yours. I mirror the energy of those around me. If you're being negative, that's your problem - not mine.

You are the sum of the 5-10 people closest to you. Choose wisely. Re-evaluate often. Make changes when needed.

Some people will surprise you. You may reconnect and realize they've done their own work and are worth bringing back into the circle. It's rare, but when it happens, I welcome them back with open arms.

Step 5: Moving My Body

Let's kick this one off with a couple of stats:

• 150 minutes of moderate exercise per week reduces the risk of depression by 30%

• regular aerobic exercise can reduce anxiety symptoms by up to 48%

Now that's worth the price of admission right there.

But let's go deeper.

We overthinkers spend too much time in our heads. By exercising, we take all that mental energy and spread it through our bodies. This alone helps decrease the mental chatter.

Hey overthinker, don't start overthinking about what type of exercise to do. It can be anything that gets you moving. Here's what works for me:

• daily walks with my dog (no phone)

• lifting weights 2-3x per week to blow out the steam

• yoga 1x per week because my hamstrings couldn't be tighter

• Pickleball with my buddies in the summer to scratch that competitive itch

Do what works for you. If you like running, run. If you like Brazilian jiu-jitsu, do that. It doesn't matter, as long as you do something that moves your body, increases blood flow, gets you breathing, and most importantly - you enjoy it.

You will feel better.

You will look better.

You will be better.

Remember - exercise isn't about punishing yourself or trying to look a certain way. It's a practice of self-love, giving your body (and mind) what it needs.

Step 6: Designing My Life

Next, I focused on life design. I asked myself - what other variables were adding to my anxiety? Two things were clear:

• it was time to get back closer to my friends, family, and that re-vamped inner circle

• I needed to stop bouncing between time zones and hotel rooms every week due to work

I was fortunate to work for a large company with offices across Canada. I told my employer about my situation and my need to get back home.

Past Darren would have worried himself sick about this conversation. But new Darren with all this momentum? I barely gave it a second thought - I just accepted it needed to be done.

This was real progress.

A few months later, I landed in Toronto. I reconnected with my best friends from high school. They showed me the city, took me to amazing restaurants, and saw live music. One friend was also going through a breakup. It was magical to feel real connection again, to heal and navigate our new situations together.

But I still needed to fly across the country weekly. So between meetings and after work at the hotel, I'd apply to jobs like mad.

I ended up taking the first offer I got - I was that desperate to stop flying. But this job checked two key boxes: a 5-minute walk from my new apartment and a better salary.

I'm a firm believer that your inner world shapes your outer world. Your perspective is 80% of the battle. However, you're lying to yourself if you don't think your environment plays a role. Sometimes you need to make external changes to reach your full potential.

For me, stabilizing my physical environment let me plant firm roots in my new home - it was exactly what I needed. This let me deepen my relationships with my inner circle, build a more consistent routine, and discover a few more tools to manage the ol’ noggin of mine.

Step 7: Discovering Meditation

At this point in my journey, I was deep in my spiritual arc. Reading "The Power of Now," continuing psychedelic exploration, buying crystals - you know the type.

My roommate's dad, a deeply spiritual man, encouraged me to:

• Read Autobiography of a Yogi

• Join him at a 2-day meditation workshop

This was my introduction to mindfulness and meditation. I learned Kriya Yoga, which involves specific body movements, breathing techniques, and stillness.

I realized those states of consciousness I experienced during psychedelics could be accessed through meditation. My mushroom experimentation gave me a reference point to aim my meditations.

Most importantly, meditation let me dive deep into my mind. I could feel the overwhelming days vs. the calm ones. I could connect thoughts to physical tension in my body. I felt like I was slowly clearing out my mental inbox with 10,000 unread messages.

And here's the stats to back it up:

• 8 weeks of regular meditation reduces anxiety symptoms by 54% in people with generalized anxiety disorder

• 10 minutes daily lowers anxiety levels by 22% in college students

• mindfulness programs show a 48% reduction in anxiety symptoms

I encourage new meditators to seek guidance. It's simple in practice, but simple doesn't mean easy. It can be daunting to stare into the internal void without direction.

I highly recommend The Way app by Henry Shukman. Henry is a Zen Buddhist master with the world's calmest voice, dropping wisdom so deep you'll need a submarine to find the bottom. His gentle nudges, warm coaching, and straightforward system are top tier.

Step 8: Eating Good Food

You are what you eat. Literally. Your stomach breaks down food, it's absorbed by your intestines, and transported throughout your body.

Eating Cornflakes and drinking Red Bull all day? You'll feel like a garbage can.

Eating fruit, vegetables, quality meat, and staying hydrated? You'll hum like a Ferrari.

Here's a simple guideline:

• outer aisles of the grocery store (produce, meat, dairy, eggs) = good whole food

• center aisles (sodas, chips, cookies, cereal) = ultra-processed food

Of course, there are exceptions to the rules. But here's a map in case you get lost:

Ultra-processed foods are engineered to bypass our natural satiety signals, making it easy to overeat while providing minimal nutrition. They're linked to:

• 31% higher risk of dying from heart disease

• 50% higher depression risk

• significant inflammation

• disrupted gut microbiome affecting mental health

• weight gain (~500 more calories per day vs whole foods)

Look, the occasional pizza won't kill you. In fact, I call this 'soul food.' Sometimes you need to get a little greasy - it's simply good for the soul. Just don't do it daily. Enjoy that pizza, don't guilt yourself, dig in.

But like your mom said - eat your damn fruits and vegetables!

A more advanced tip: I completely cut out alcohol. Like ultra-processed foods, it only inflames your body and adds anxiety to the mind. Something to consider if you can't shake the overthinking. Will save this deep dive for a future letter.

Step 9: Consciously Choosing Content

I used to binge TV shows, get cheap dopamine hits from video games, read "if it bleeds, it leads" news, and compare my life to others on social media.

Then I'd jump in bed, mind racing, wondering why I couldn't sleep.

Just like your body is what you eat - your mind becomes the content you consume.

Each book, TV episode, news story, or song makes an imprint on your mind. Over time, this shapes how you see the world.

Have you thought about what you're feeding your mind? Is it "Toddlers & Tiaras" marathons or philosophy books?

I audited my daily content intake, cutting the bad and doubling down on the good.

Feeling my attention span slip from social media, I focused on long-form content like books and podcasts. I read about self-improvement, philosophy, and yes, psychedelics. For podcasts, I listen to people whose lives I want to emulate - there are no better teachers than those who've done it.

The goal here isn't perfection - that's one of the biggest lies we've been sold. Sometimes I'll dive down a YouTube rabbit hole watching UFC knockouts and the latest breaking news on alien encounters (I’m telling you, we’re not alone). Like my monthly pizza, it's fine. Just don't make it your daily routine.

You are what you eat.

You are who you surround yourself with.

You are what content you consume.

Step Now: Working Towards My Highest Purpose

Today, my mind is in a different place.

Not perfect, not anxiety-free.

But peaceful.

I catch the sparks before they become fires. When anxiety triggers hit, I have the tools to handle them.

And something magical happened: as I fixed my inner world, my outer world fell into place:

• found true love with someone who complements my growth

• built a beautiful family and home with our daughter

• no more fears of becoming homeless (okay, maybe once in a while)

• ultimately, I’m building a life I'm proud of

This transformation wasn't overnight. It took 5-6 years of dedicated inner work. I know we covered a lot in this letter but I hope you can take my process, apply it to your life, and transform even quicker.

This brings me to my current mission: helping others break free.

I've built the blueprint. Now I want to share it. This is my next chapter.

This is the journey to my highest purpose.

Build With Me

I'm looking for a few dedicated individuals who want to:

• rewire their anxious mind

• build sustainable peace

• create lives they love

This is a free beta program where you'll help shape my future offering. I'm still experimenting with what this program will look like but you'll get something like this:

• 1:1 guidance sessions

• customized anxiety rewiring protocol

• tools and techniques that I've used

• a partner (me) who's walked this road

In return, I'll get

• your feedback to refine my method

• real-world testing of what works

• insights to build a program that truly serves

• a testimonial - but only if you feel compelled

This isn't therapy. This isn't life coaching.

This is practical guidance on anxiety rewiring from someone who's walked the path.

If you're interested, reply to this email with a brief note about your anxiety journey. If there's a good fit, we'll connect and talk next steps.

No cost. No catch. Just real transformation work.

I hope you enjoyed this one,

Darren